Communicating Effectively

Last night while reflecting on my day with a friend, I found a recurring situation quite displeasing.  It became apparent to me that the fine art of verbal communication in a public setting eludes quite a few people.  I'm no expert but I did major in both Business Administration and Communication Studies.  So while drinking my tea and discussing the issue with my friend I compiled a list of tips that everyone should keep in mind when socializing with those who are less familiar with your mannerisms.

Be Knowledgeable
I could not possibly stress how important it is to know what you are talking about.  Unfiltered ignorant commentary on any subject will get you nowhere in any social arena.  It may get you some attention, but not the sort of attention that anyone seeks.  Please educate yourself and if by some chance you find yourself involved in a conversation that focuses on matters that you have no knowledge about please be quiet and listen.  You could possibly learn something.

Be Confident
What you have to say is important.  So say it with the confidence that it deserves.  Oh and for the love of all that is glorious left in this world please leave the inconsistent language in your childhood.  Every other word/sound should not be a 'like' or 'um', it is decreasing your credibility.  Also, never ever after this point should you precede any statement with 'I may be wrong' or anything comparable.  You know what you're saying so say it without the disclaimer.  If you are wrong then God bless the soul that provides you with the knowledge that you are about to receive.

Be Concise & Clear
Your words deserve a clear and concise medium in which to reach the masses (or the 2 or 3 people listening).  Please pronounce and enunciate clearly.  For a few it's as simple as slowing down and focusing when you speak.  A personal tip:  Open your mouth more when you speak, literally.  It almost forces you to pronounce each syllable.  This is a little harder to perfect but practice get a lot closer to perfection than wishing does.

Be Courageous, Honest, and Tactful
You are brilliant and what you have to say deserves to be heard.  Just remember to say it in a tactful manner.  If you can't say it without obscenities or yelling then it should not be said until you can convey your thoughts without inspiring a physical or verbal altercation.

Your goal is to be honest and tactful in voicing your thoughts, because sometimes it takes courage to speak up.  So don't let what you have to say be upstaged by ignorance, obscenities, or inconsistencies.

Healthy Social Circle

"A true friend sees the good in everything, and brings out the best in the worst of things"

Sasha Azevedo 

About two weeks ago I went to lunch with an acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a while until  she contacted me this past month to set up a lunch date.  I was a little suspicious initially because her reasoning behind the invite was to get clarification.  Basically, she wanted to know why we were no longer friends.  The situation/friendship itself was toxic to say the least so when it came to me cleansing myself and surroundings of negative entities (something I'll discuss later as it's vital to a balanced life)  all unhealthy relationships had to go also.

"Misery loves company."

John Ray

Your mental, physical, spiritual, and social health is of utmost importance.  Cleansing your social circle and cultivating a healthy circle of friends is necessary if you want to obtain a balanced life.  If your friends are negative and disrespectful then it's going to affect you either directly or indirectly.  Others who are looking at you will ultimately believe that you are also negative and disrespectful.  You have to separate yourself from those types of people.  If getting you involved with their most recent bout of drama is their primary goal in every conversation then you have to assess if they're friends that are worth keeping.  Your interactions with those around you (especially friends) should leave you with an uplifting feeling.  If a relationship does not give you the support that you need then you should consider distancing yourself from those people and those types of situations.  People who are miserable are comparable to crabs they will grab onto you and try to pull you down with them. 
  

"Inhale peace, exhale excellence"

Unknown

When we take in positive energy we do more good for ourselves and others.  This is what I had to explain to my friend at lunch.  Her issues and the way she handled them were what made me decide to distance myself and end communication with her.   We all have problems and issues that may arise but generally when they come about we look for ways to fix them.  However, some people only use those problems and issues to add to their already abundant cluster of mess.  Drama is entertaining to them.  They need that in order to feel as though they are living fulfilling lives.  It's awful and twisted because no matter what advice or how many solutions you give them they will only find something murkier and more damaging to submerge themselves in.  You would be wasting your energy, time, and intelligence on people who never had any intentions on getting better.  In essence, you would only be depleting yourself.  That is energy that could be put into accomplishing something that is actually attainable.  Don't kill yourself trying to help those who don't want to be helped.

  

Letting go is hard and it's uncomfortable.  No one wants to be told that they did not make the cut.  I know some people who I distanced myself from that are now my enemies.  Though I think that if one of my friends told me that our relationship was unhealthy I would be upset at first but ultimately that threat of losing a friend would trigger some self evaluation.  The friends that I have are people that I truly care about so I will do some soul searching to see if what I do or how I behave as it pertains to our relationship is actually detrimental.  If it is then some change needs to happen and if not then we can both go our separate ways and just know that we were headed down two different avenues.  Friendships should never leave you feeling empty.