Sunday Inspiration

Thinking of a master plan?

I haven't posted in a quite a while and a lot of that has to do with what I've been going through lately.  In the time that I've been absent from the blogging scene I've been through so much and I finally feel like I'm getting back to being happy...not that mask that I put on every day for the public but honestly and truly happy.   Life is funny (sometimes in the way that's not literally funny).  The best way that I can describe what I've gone through in the past 6 months is like being a beginner swimmer and a strong current sweeps you out into the ocean where there is no land in sight.  You can't gain any footing and wave after wave is crashing into you and you have no idea if they're pushing you out further or if you're getting closer to land.  What's worse is that no one notices.  Scary right?  That was me and I'm sure I'm not the only person in history that's been through something similar so enough of the talk and let's get to how I got out of it.  Actually, it's more like how I got through it.

1.  Realize no one is coming to save you.  As cynical as it may sound it's true in most situations.  I'm not saying that no one will help I am simply saying that you have to work for it and you have to want it.  As John Heywood said, 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'.  Plenty of people tried to help but I had to want it.

2.  Be aware of yourself.  We all want to be number one but there comes a time where you have to realize that you can't be number one at everything.  We're told that we can be anything we want to be. We should have also been told we can't be everything.  Admit what you're bad at and then focus on what you're good at.  Don't waste your time doing something that you aren't good at.  Don't bullsh*t yourself.

And finally the best advice I received from a friend (and back to the swimming comparison)...

3.  Stop swimming against the current.  What?! What my friend meant is that you're wasting your time.  You're tiring yourself out and getting nowhere.  Eventually you are going to drown so stop.  The mission is not to get out of the situation, the mission is to deal with it, learn from it, and use what you learned when that current gets you to where you are going.


Everything that you go through isn't happening for nothing.  And yes it all does seem to happen at once but why not get all these lessons in at once?  I learned a lot about myself and abilities in the last 6 months.  I'm still learning.  So when you feel like you're at the end of your rope hang on and focus.  You don't win some and lose some. You win some and learn some, but should you not learn your lesson bet on the fact that you will repeat.  I know my post won't save the world but I hope that it at least helps one person that's struggling.  Thank you for reading.

Be Fearless

Fear-an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something or someone is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

How often do we let fear get in the way of us accomplishing what we dream of?  If  you're anything like me fear and doubt permeate your thoughts on a daily basis.  A few weeks ago I spoke with an old colleague of mine who I hadn't seen in years.  While catching up she inquired about a few major opportunities that I had been presented with in the past.  I summed up those inquiries with a simple 'I passed them up'.  Disappointing yes, but what was more disappointing were my reasons for never pursuing those opportunities.  I had become someone who not only let fear permeate her thoughts but I allowed fear to control what I chose to do.  I can't change what happened then and I can't change the fact that I get scared (especially with motherhood on the horizon).  However, I can change how I use that fear.

What do you mean 'use' fear?
In a previous blog post (Words to Live By) I mentioned that fear should motivate you.  Fear isn't always a deterrent.  Listen to that fear and often you'll find that it's a sign that you're doing something right.  Now this isn't to say just go living recklessly and putting your self in harm's way.  That's different and it's called stupid.  Just joking, but I don't want anyone going out and living life that way, it's harmful.

Weekend Haul

So this weekend I went in search of maternity clothing because last week there was a constant struggle to fit into my regular clothes for work.  Honestly I was hoping that I wouldn't start getting bigger until the weather got warmer because then I could wear dresses.  Well, it looks like that will not be happening and the time for maternity clothes is now.

I decided  to try Old Navy since I had about 3 of those Super Cash tickets that are redeemable between January 21 - 29, 2014.  I wasn't really successful in finding maternity pants but I did come out with some very cute things and I also got some very useful advice from another expectant mother.  Check out what I bought.

Advice: Planning

"Plans are nothing; planning is everything."

-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Life is hectic and that's a fact that we all know.  Changes come up every minute and just when you think you have it all mapped out it's generally at those times that you come to a roadblock.  However, if you're looking to increase you productivity, get organized, or make the most of your free time planning is a great way to accomplish your goals.   So where do you start?  For those who are just beginning I'd like to share a few tips that have helped me.

My choice tools for planning. 

1.  Reserve a block of time during your day for planning.
For myself, this is usually at around 6:30 in the morning as I am having my cup of tea.  You can choose to map out your day whenever you please but I suggest doing this either the night before or first thing in the morning.

2.  Choose the tool that works best for you.
Whether it's an app on your phone or a planner just make sure to have something on hand that makes your tasks for the day visual.


3.  Take it day by day.
There's nothing wrong with planning ahead (monthly/annually) and I do especially when I know I have appointments, meetings, or deadlines to keep. However, my detailed planning is most effective when I list my 'to-dos' on a daily basis.  It helps me focus.

4. Mark things off.
When you've completed a task mark through it.  It's helpful to see what you accomplished and how much you can accomplish.

5.  Take it easy.
Planning is a tool for you to use to help you not stress you out.  Don't worry if you don't complete a task on the day you planned to just add it to the next day's list.  Planning is a guide and for the most part your guide is pliable.

As I always say change is inevitable and everything that we plan does not always come to fruition.  Planning is not to be mistaken with setting out a hardcore plan for your day.  It should be seen as more of a guide for your day.  Planning is a means to help you stay focused and accomplish your goals.  I hope this helps.


Thank you for reading. XOXO

Just Enjoy The Show

Eye of the Tiger!!

A lot of times we get so wrapped up in our troubles and hard times seem to be around every corner that we lose sight of everything else.  Nope, everything is not it's best but everything isn't at its worst either.  Don't be a loser when it feels like you're losing control try to step back and look at everything.  You can't control life's circumstances but you can control your reaction it what life brings.  Life is a beautiful struggle and when I feel like I'm losing control I just sit back and enjoy the show.  I've never gotten any use out of worrying and neither will you.  When things aren't in your control be calm, be still and watch what happens.  Trying to fight what you can't change is only wasting the energy that you could be putting towards something else.

5 Pieces of Advice

Throughout life we have the fortunate circumstance to come across those people who offer you inspiration that becomes etched in our minds.  That inspiration often comes in the form of advice.  Whether it be a story, a scenario, or their actions they all offer a lesson.   Out of all of the advice that I've received thus far in life there are few that stand out.  Today I decided to share five bits of advice and the people who gave them  that have helped me through life (thus far) in general.

1.  Knowledge is powerful but be careful as to where you acquire knowledge.

-Deb (that's my mom)

A very powerful message because, yes you may know a lot, but how many of those things are actually  void of deceit.  There are entities out there whose main goal is to deceive as many as they can so you really have to evaluate not only what you found but also where you found it.  The origin of knowledge plays a bigger role in it's truth than most people give it credit for.

2.  Know the difference between being productive and being busy.

-Erica 

 You may have numerous items on your agenda but how many of them are actually propelling you towards your goals?  In today's society we equate being busy with being important but if you're not accomplishing anything then it's not relevant.

3.  State the facts but always tell the truth.

-Missy

If you are a genuine person then why wouldn't the things you say be genuine.  Your words are of utmost importance, aside from your actions, which are what others base you credibility, reliability, and integrity off of so don't blow it by telling people what they want to hear.  Do not compromise your values for the sake of someones feelings.  They came to you for the truth.

4.  Life is equally unfair for us all.

-Julie

Guess what?  You can't win them all and that's life.  Does it make it any less painful?  Nope, but it's the truth.  So why is this a piece of advice?  Simply because complaining about it's unfairness is going to get you nowhere but seeking a solution will.  If you know that life is unfair then you might spend less time complaining about it and more time doing something about your situation.

5.  Be careful, but if not then go all in.

-Terrell 

Okay the actual quote went... 'Be careful but if not then f*ck it'.  My friends always have a way of putting things.  His point was that if it's something that you really truly deeply believe in then by all means put your best effort behind it.  He wanted me to be careful but he also wanted me to pursue my dreams.  His theory was that if it's worth it go after it, but in the event that you fail then it was worth the ride (and it had better been one hell of a ride).

Well folks that's it, valuable (or what I consider valuable) advice from great minds.

Advice: Entering The Workforce

It can be very scary entering the workforce especially if you are entering your desired career field.  It seems like you've spent so much time preparing yourself only to sit up the night before thinking 'I'm so not ready for this' or 'what if I mess up'.  Well you can always Google advice for young (or even whatever age) professionals entering the workforce which I would suggest that you try or you could continue reading my unconventional advice for those entering the workforce.

1.  Be quiet and listen
If you're trying to gain knowledge, which you are, it is probably best that you don't attempt to look like the smartest person in the room.  You're new soak it in, you currently have a front row seat to view how that particular organization works don't run your mouth so much that you miss the show.

2.  Do not isolate yourself with people who are like you
I know we did it in college even though we claimed that we were diversifying ourselves *queue dramatic music* but we didn't (shocked face) and it wasn't wrong, we just like people that we share common interests with.  However, make your rounds, communicate with someone older/younger, sit with a different group everyday at lunch for a week.

 3.  Your personal life IS separate from your professional life
I know sharing personal information is a part of bonding (I majored in Communication) but not at work.  They should not know about your 'shamtastic' roommate, your crazy ex, or your weekend outings.  It's so tempting but you're still new and you don't know these people.  Be safe and do not disclose personal information unless it directly affects your job.

4.  Do what you said that you would do
If you take on a project and agree to have it done by the close of business then you better make sure it's done by the close of business.  It shows that you are reliable and consistent.  You get the job done and that's what employers want to see.

5.  Ask for help and take notes
It's okay to ask for help but if you do please make sure to take notes.  At my job we get interns who ask the same question everyday because they did not take notes (either mentally or physically)....that's bad.  It makes you look incompetent but only when you ask the SAME question repeatedly.

6.  You're gonna make mistakes
Now learn the lesson and get over it.  The only time mistakes become a problem is when there is no lesson learned.  If no lesson is learned then chances are the mistake is going to be repeated and you are going to come off as problematic.

7.  Stand your ground
This is when your coworkers are developing their opinions of you.  So if you know (not assume) that someone is belittling you or disrespecting you it's probably best to comfort them calmly.  If you falter when this happens that person and anyone else viewing the situation (and people are watching) will view you as weak.  Don't let that become a characteristic that you have to reverse.  Workplace bullying or hazing happens and it will probably happen to you but don't let that scare you off into a corner.

8.  Everyone is just as nervous as you
Yes, you're new and everyone else has been there for however long and they may know more about the company but you represent something scary and that is change.  You're new, you have new ideas, you think outside of the box that they have grown accustomed to thinking in, and you are in their minds the future of the workforce.  You may feel inexperienced but that inexperience allows you to think more freely and find innovative solutions that they can not see.  Your lack of experience is the cause of anxiety for everyone involved.

9.  This is a job and not a picnic.
You did not enter the workforce to make friends, it is one of the many upsides as you'll see later in your career but for those that are just starting out please do not make this your main goal.  If you're worried about making friends join a club or some sort of social group.  You'll make friends later but for now you're there to work.

10.  Thank those that help you.
Remember that with the help of those people your struggle to find your footing could have been a lot worse.  A little gratitude goes a long way.  When people feel appreciated they are more likely to help you out again.


Don't get me wrong, your first day and many others after that will still be filled with anxiety but hopefully these tips will ease that anxiety a tad bit.  It is scary beginning your career or even a new job but now you have guidelines on how to conduct yourself.  You can't control what happens but at least you can adapt.  Get out there, walk in the confidence, learn something, but for right now get some rest.  You have a big day ahead of you.

Lesson Learned: Don't Lend Money to Friends

These do not exist.

Oh, young silly me!  How naive of me to believe that everyone that makes a promise is pressured by some noble obligation to keep that promise made. If only they were, then maybe I wouldn't be out of nearly $1000 all at once.  In case you're wondering, this rant is about lending money and why I believe it is a horrible thing to do.  Okay, let me rephrase myself...lending anyone money with the expectation of actually receiving any of that money back is a bad idea.  Much better.

Why lending money (with the expectation of repayment) is a bad idea?

1.  Well the indication that you want to be repaid makes me honestly believe that you may have needed that money.  So if you need that money why would you give it away?  You worked hard for that, use it for what you need.  

2.  It creates tension.  No one likes owing anyone.  I have never seen a situation where the situation hasn't been tense or caused some dispute.  Oh, and don't even think of involving a contract. It now makes the other person feel as though you think they're not trustworthy.  Contracts are for banks not friends.

3.  You're not helping them (more towards repeat borrowers).  Why do they need to borrow money?  Well, I'd like to think it's because they don't have any at the time (or ever).  Why don't they have money?  Maybe, their job doesn't pay well or maybe their lack of money is due to horrible financial planning, in either case the real problem isn't fixed simply because you alleviated their financial worries for the moment.

In any case lending money is just a bad practice, now this isn't to say that you can't give away money. You can do that but only if you have it to spare.  Anything (as far as money is concerned) outside of charity is a no-go.  True friends are hard to come by, don't let financial issues come between friendship.