Dealing with Tragedy

So this post is simply to offer some words of encouragement.  Today I received some devastating news.  After years of battling cancer my friend, Aliyah Howard, passed away.  It's always hard losing someone and this situation wasn't any easier.  She was an awesome person and being around her was always enjoyable.  She had been through a lot but she was the same unrelenting and fun person to the end.   She will be missed greatly but my memories of her will be cherished.  My prayers and thoughts go out to her family and friends as we all try to cope with this tragic loss.  

Sometimes life deals some pretty powerful blows whether it be death, poverty, or any other event and/or circumstance.  Resistance to the struggle is futile, there's no way around it you just have to go through it.  It's gonna be alright.  Allow yourself to feel however it is that you are feeling but don't dwell.  If you're angry be angry, if you're sad be sad, and if you're utterly devastated then you have every right to be.  Just go ahead and feel it then when the time is right (and trust me it's different for everyone) allow yourself time to heal.  Wounds heal slowly especially emotional wounds.  Take your time there's no rush.  People should understand and if they don't then you should evaluate your relationship with those people.  If you don't allow yourself to heal you'll never be as close to the former you that you were before (I say as close, because every tragedy changes us no matter how small it's a change and sometimes you just can't go back).  It's like breaking a bone, if that bone doesn't heal properly then you'll have some serious complications later.  So take your time....


I know that I haven't posted anything pertaining to 'My Active Prepared Life' but this week has been a very tough one for thus far.  I promise I will get back to those posts as soon as possible.

Thank you for reading.

Communicating Effectively

Last night while reflecting on my day with a friend, I found a recurring situation quite displeasing.  It became apparent to me that the fine art of verbal communication in a public setting eludes quite a few people.  I'm no expert but I did major in both Business Administration and Communication Studies.  So while drinking my tea and discussing the issue with my friend I compiled a list of tips that everyone should keep in mind when socializing with those who are less familiar with your mannerisms.

Be Knowledgeable
I could not possibly stress how important it is to know what you are talking about.  Unfiltered ignorant commentary on any subject will get you nowhere in any social arena.  It may get you some attention, but not the sort of attention that anyone seeks.  Please educate yourself and if by some chance you find yourself involved in a conversation that focuses on matters that you have no knowledge about please be quiet and listen.  You could possibly learn something.

Be Confident
What you have to say is important.  So say it with the confidence that it deserves.  Oh and for the love of all that is glorious left in this world please leave the inconsistent language in your childhood.  Every other word/sound should not be a 'like' or 'um', it is decreasing your credibility.  Also, never ever after this point should you precede any statement with 'I may be wrong' or anything comparable.  You know what you're saying so say it without the disclaimer.  If you are wrong then God bless the soul that provides you with the knowledge that you are about to receive.

Be Concise & Clear
Your words deserve a clear and concise medium in which to reach the masses (or the 2 or 3 people listening).  Please pronounce and enunciate clearly.  For a few it's as simple as slowing down and focusing when you speak.  A personal tip:  Open your mouth more when you speak, literally.  It almost forces you to pronounce each syllable.  This is a little harder to perfect but practice get a lot closer to perfection than wishing does.

Be Courageous, Honest, and Tactful
You are brilliant and what you have to say deserves to be heard.  Just remember to say it in a tactful manner.  If you can't say it without obscenities or yelling then it should not be said until you can convey your thoughts without inspiring a physical or verbal altercation.

Your goal is to be honest and tactful in voicing your thoughts, because sometimes it takes courage to speak up.  So don't let what you have to say be upstaged by ignorance, obscenities, or inconsistencies.

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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