My Active/Prepared Life: Sorting Through Confusion

So as I drank my cup of hot water this morning (yep hot water, I'll explain later) and my 'roommate' began talking to me about duality (he does this a lot) I thought to myself 'what is he talking about it's much too early for this and why is he always so complicated'? 

Granted most things are complicated, rarely is there any thing that is clean cut.  However, how are these complications helping you achieve happiness?  As far as I can see these complications have only served as excuses and have only caused you stress.  If you realize that things are complicated, great.  Everything is not black and white, awesome.  But how is this helping you to make better decisions?  It should be helping you to make better decisions because if it is not then it's just creating mess.

If when asked why you feel a certain way you answer with it's complicated then you're confused.  I would even go further to suggest that knowing how you feel isn't what you want.  That anguish that you feel has so long been a part of your life that you don't know how feeling any other way would make you feel.  It would be uncomfortable and often painful.  So 'it's complicated' is now an excuse to remain where you are.  Unless of course you really are confused and of course no one ever wants to admit that they are confused or that they may not know (be ignorant of) especially when speaking of oneself.  If you don't know you, who does?  Deep down I believe we know ourselves; we just don't disclose or we have repressed what we know because honestly we just don't like what we know or discover.  For this we are in confusion and we can not come out until we at the very least admit what we know to ourselves.

If when asked how you feel regarding a specific topic (example: religion/politics) and you reply it's complicated then honestly honey you're confused.  Admit it.  You're confused and it's going to take a little more self-evaluation and contemplation to bring you out of that confusion.  It's okay to be confused.  I am definitely not saying that it is bad but I think that often people (including myself) are so concerned with not being seen as ignorant that we miss opportunities to acquire knowledge.  If it is knowledge that you seek then it is probably best not to try to be the most knowledgeable person in the room.  Now I will warn that if you seek knowledge you should be careful as to which knowledge you acquire and from where you acquire it.  There are agents out there that will corrupt you and your mind.  Thus you are back at square one>>>>>>>CONFUSION!!

So what does all this mean?  Sure things are complicated but when it becomes you're reasoning behind why you think, you act, and feel the way that you do then it's a result of mess/ignorance.  We all have it and the only way to rid yourself of it is to sort through it.  Complication should never be an excuse.  It should only be stated as a fact and once you know that it is a fact then you know what you have to do to clear it up.  Unless of course you are happy being complicated then by all means live and be happy.

Goal this week:  Simplify, reduce, and sort it out (in all categories).

The Active Prepared Life #1: Goals This Week

Let me start out by saying that by posting these goals I am letting everyone who reads this into my life.  I like my privacy and doing this actually makes me very uncomfortable but it is what's best because by announcing my goals to my readers I am establishing some accountability as many of you pointed out in my initial post that summarized the plan (The Active Prepared Life). Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me. 

Categories:
Life/General
Love
Health/Fitness
Career
Financial

These are the areas in my life that I feel need the most improvement.  Each week I will set goals in these categories aimed at cultivating a more healthy and happy lifestyle for myself.  Goals and categories may be removed and also revisited.  The goal is continual improvement and the integration of this system into my lifestyle.  So here goes...

Life/General
1.  Meditate/Pray for 15mins daily
2.  Actively think positive thoughts

Love
1.  Call my boyfriend at least once a day
2.  Express concerns about relationship

Health/Fitness
1.  Work out at least 5 times a week
2.  Only drink water (green tea & protein shake are allowed)

Career
1.  Assist wherever needed
2.  Complete tasks as they come to you

Finance
1.  Do not lend money
2.  Only purchase necessities

I chose two goals per category this week because I did not want this process to be a burden.  I think two goals should suffice until I get into this.  Once again thank you for reading.

This Week In Retrospect: Pulling it All Together

So this week (like every other week) had it's ups and downs.  Some things didn't go as planned while others went so smoothly you would have thought it took months to plan.  However, this week did let me see just how focused I am in accomplishing the goals that I have set for myself.

Here are a few goals (some short-term) that I have set for myself that I hope to will accomplish

• Move into my own place (by myself)
• Blog on a regular basis
• Amass a substantial emergency savings
• Earn my certification in Spanish
• Exercise on a regular basis
• Pay off debt...ALL OF IT!

It may not seem like a lot but these are just the big ones.  There are plenty of other things to accomplish as well.  This week my main focus has been organizing everything so that accomplishing these goals happens with as little stress as possible.  Well we all know that nothing comes without obstacles but the point is to not become overwhelmed with what I do have planned and the obstacles when they come my way.  There is a lot of tedious work in becoming successful and living a fulfilling life.  This weekend I urge everyone to look at their goals, focus on the steps it takes to accomplish them, and go after them  with everything in your arsenal. 

E-Mail Etiquette

Day to day we are afforded the luxury of many means of communication.  For myself, the most common means of communication (at my job) is e-mail.  Oh, electronic mail how I loathe and love thee all in one instance.   Recently in my workplace I've noticed that e-mail is replacing good old fashioned phone conversation.  Everyday I communicate with clients via e-mail and it never ceases to amaze me how many people throw etiquette to the wind when communicating via e-mail.  So today I decided to share my top 10 rules for e-mail etiquette.

1.   Spell check 
Quite frankly no one is going to take you seriously if your e-mails have typos.  It's one button and probably 3 minute worth of review.  Give your words the respect that they deserve by spelling them correctly. 

2.  Know your point of contact
I can't tell you how many e-mails I get on a regular basis detailing matters that should be addressed to our CEO.  Sending the e-mail to the correct person is the first part but also know your audience.  Please address your contact with the appropriate level of formality.

Communicating Effectively

Last night while reflecting on my day with a friend, I found a recurring situation quite displeasing.  It became apparent to me that the fine art of verbal communication in a public setting eludes quite a few people.  I'm no expert but I did major in both Business Administration and Communication Studies.  So while drinking my tea and discussing the issue with my friend I compiled a list of tips that everyone should keep in mind when socializing with those who are less familiar with your mannerisms.

Be Knowledgeable
I could not possibly stress how important it is to know what you are talking about.  Unfiltered ignorant commentary on any subject will get you nowhere in any social arena.  It may get you some attention, but not the sort of attention that anyone seeks.  Please educate yourself and if by some chance you find yourself involved in a conversation that focuses on matters that you have no knowledge about please be quiet and listen.  You could possibly learn something.

Be Confident
What you have to say is important.  So say it with the confidence that it deserves.  Oh and for the love of all that is glorious left in this world please leave the inconsistent language in your childhood.  Every other word/sound should not be a 'like' or 'um', it is decreasing your credibility.  Also, never ever after this point should you precede any statement with 'I may be wrong' or anything comparable.  You know what you're saying so say it without the disclaimer.  If you are wrong then God bless the soul that provides you with the knowledge that you are about to receive.

Be Concise & Clear
Your words deserve a clear and concise medium in which to reach the masses (or the 2 or 3 people listening).  Please pronounce and enunciate clearly.  For a few it's as simple as slowing down and focusing when you speak.  A personal tip:  Open your mouth more when you speak, literally.  It almost forces you to pronounce each syllable.  This is a little harder to perfect but practice get a lot closer to perfection than wishing does.

Be Courageous, Honest, and Tactful
You are brilliant and what you have to say deserves to be heard.  Just remember to say it in a tactful manner.  If you can't say it without obscenities or yelling then it should not be said until you can convey your thoughts without inspiring a physical or verbal altercation.

Your goal is to be honest and tactful in voicing your thoughts, because sometimes it takes courage to speak up.  So don't let what you have to say be upstaged by ignorance, obscenities, or inconsistencies.

Lesson Learned: Don't Lend Money to Friends

These do not exist.

Oh, young silly me!  How naive of me to believe that everyone that makes a promise is pressured by some noble obligation to keep that promise made. If only they were, then maybe I wouldn't be out of nearly $1000 all at once.  In case you're wondering, this rant is about lending money and why I believe it is a horrible thing to do.  Okay, let me rephrase myself...lending anyone money with the expectation of actually receiving any of that money back is a bad idea.  Much better.

Why lending money (with the expectation of repayment) is a bad idea?

1.  Well the indication that you want to be repaid makes me honestly believe that you may have needed that money.  So if you need that money why would you give it away?  You worked hard for that, use it for what you need.  

2.  It creates tension.  No one likes owing anyone.  I have never seen a situation where the situation hasn't been tense or caused some dispute.  Oh, and don't even think of involving a contract. It now makes the other person feel as though you think they're not trustworthy.  Contracts are for banks not friends.

3.  You're not helping them (more towards repeat borrowers).  Why do they need to borrow money?  Well, I'd like to think it's because they don't have any at the time (or ever).  Why don't they have money?  Maybe, their job doesn't pay well or maybe their lack of money is due to horrible financial planning, in either case the real problem isn't fixed simply because you alleviated their financial worries for the moment.

In any case lending money is just a bad practice, now this isn't to say that you can't give away money. You can do that but only if you have it to spare.  Anything (as far as money is concerned) outside of charity is a no-go.  True friends are hard to come by, don't let financial issues come between friendship.

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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