My Active Prepared Life: Making the Best of It

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.

Nido Qubein

There are things in life that we don't like but may still have to do, for example, I have to wake up early in the morning to go to work.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a morning person but I have to work in order to pay bills. So why not make the best of it?  I come in and even though I am pooped, I just make my way to the break room, get a cup of coffee, and smile.  If you have to do it make at least some aspect of it enjoyable.

Focus on the big picture but don't forget these baby steps.
Sometimes you just have to pull out the old 'I doing what I have to do' trick.  Right now you don't like it but it's going to pay off in the long run.  For instance, I am not fond of being an administrative assistant (that's not what I went to college for) but the pay is okay and it's a job. Do you know how many of my peers graduated with me and still haven't found a job.  So why would I gripe about not liking my job when it's helping me to pay bills?

Be appreciative of all the good things and quite a few of the bad things.
Sometimes it help to sit down, pull out a piece of paper, and write down what is going good/great/okay in your life.  It's not all bad, for starters you get to see another day and try for dreams.  There are a good many people who didn't wake up or they don't get to pursue their dreams.  So be thankful that you get to try again.  Also be thankful for the bad things.  Like I've stated before, you have to look for the lesson.  Take something from that pain, hell you went through it!  You came out and sure it shook you up but you're here.

Try your best.
I'd like to add that you should put in as much effort as possible when faced with any task.  I always try to put my best work out even for the most menial of tasks because my name is on it.  If I'm contributing then I want it to be the best that it can be.  You never know who is watching.

Each one has to find his peace from within.  And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.

Mahatma Gandhi

Not to compromise the importance of happiness but let's be honest sometimes the issue is not the situation it's the person.  You choose to be happy regardless of your situation.  Your dream job is not going to make you happy suddenly because it never was the issue.  This is not to say that you should not pursue your dreams.  By all means go after them but until you've met them please make the best of your current situation.   What are choosing to let upset you?  Are you in control of the situation or is the situation in control of you?

Goals
This post sums up my goals for this week.  Never one to be deterred, I will have a great week this week and I hope that you all will do the same as well.

Positivity is the Key

There is no place for negativity in your life, thoughts, or spirit.  You have to willingly 'look on the bright side of everything'.  You owe this much to yourself.  Your well-being is important.  I know we like to help others but we are in no shape to help others when we aren't whole.  Positivity will get you through hard times.  You know what?  Don't even think (or if you can't help it, correct yourself) in negative terms.  Instead of 'I hope my car doesn't break down today' you should say 'I appreciate the fact that I am able to do what I need to do everyday'.   No worries, no problems.  Our mindset is often our biggest obstacle.  So why let something that you control be a detriment to you?  You don't have to... just change it.

Praying and wishing to be delivered out of a difficult situation is getting us nowhere.  You should instead be praying for the strength, wisdom, and courage to make it through that difficult situation.  Most times the only way to get over something is to go through it and that's where a lesson should be learned.  My mom used to always say the most important lessons are always the hardest to learn and often they culminate from the most difficult of situations.  So face it, life is not easy for anyone nor was it meant to be.

As I said before it will be uncomfortable and hard but with enough practice it will become something that you do without even thinking about it.  TRY IT!  What do you have to lose except for stress/mess?  Get it, got it, great.

Inhale positivity, exhale peace.

Healthy Social Circle

"A true friend sees the good in everything, and brings out the best in the worst of things"

Sasha Azevedo 

About two weeks ago I went to lunch with an acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a while until  she contacted me this past month to set up a lunch date.  I was a little suspicious initially because her reasoning behind the invite was to get clarification.  Basically, she wanted to know why we were no longer friends.  The situation/friendship itself was toxic to say the least so when it came to me cleansing myself and surroundings of negative entities (something I'll discuss later as it's vital to a balanced life)  all unhealthy relationships had to go also.

"Misery loves company."

John Ray

Your mental, physical, spiritual, and social health is of utmost importance.  Cleansing your social circle and cultivating a healthy circle of friends is necessary if you want to obtain a balanced life.  If your friends are negative and disrespectful then it's going to affect you either directly or indirectly.  Others who are looking at you will ultimately believe that you are also negative and disrespectful.  You have to separate yourself from those types of people.  If getting you involved with their most recent bout of drama is their primary goal in every conversation then you have to assess if they're friends that are worth keeping.  Your interactions with those around you (especially friends) should leave you with an uplifting feeling.  If a relationship does not give you the support that you need then you should consider distancing yourself from those people and those types of situations.  People who are miserable are comparable to crabs they will grab onto you and try to pull you down with them. 
  

"Inhale peace, exhale excellence"

Unknown

When we take in positive energy we do more good for ourselves and others.  This is what I had to explain to my friend at lunch.  Her issues and the way she handled them were what made me decide to distance myself and end communication with her.   We all have problems and issues that may arise but generally when they come about we look for ways to fix them.  However, some people only use those problems and issues to add to their already abundant cluster of mess.  Drama is entertaining to them.  They need that in order to feel as though they are living fulfilling lives.  It's awful and twisted because no matter what advice or how many solutions you give them they will only find something murkier and more damaging to submerge themselves in.  You would be wasting your energy, time, and intelligence on people who never had any intentions on getting better.  In essence, you would only be depleting yourself.  That is energy that could be put into accomplishing something that is actually attainable.  Don't kill yourself trying to help those who don't want to be helped.

  

Letting go is hard and it's uncomfortable.  No one wants to be told that they did not make the cut.  I know some people who I distanced myself from that are now my enemies.  Though I think that if one of my friends told me that our relationship was unhealthy I would be upset at first but ultimately that threat of losing a friend would trigger some self evaluation.  The friends that I have are people that I truly care about so I will do some soul searching to see if what I do or how I behave as it pertains to our relationship is actually detrimental.  If it is then some change needs to happen and if not then we can both go our separate ways and just know that we were headed down two different avenues.  Friendships should never leave you feeling empty.    

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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