Dealing with Tragedy

So this post is simply to offer some words of encouragement.  Today I received some devastating news.  After years of battling cancer my friend, Aliyah Howard, passed away.  It's always hard losing someone and this situation wasn't any easier.  She was an awesome person and being around her was always enjoyable.  She had been through a lot but she was the same unrelenting and fun person to the end.   She will be missed greatly but my memories of her will be cherished.  My prayers and thoughts go out to her family and friends as we all try to cope with this tragic loss.  

Sometimes life deals some pretty powerful blows whether it be death, poverty, or any other event and/or circumstance.  Resistance to the struggle is futile, there's no way around it you just have to go through it.  It's gonna be alright.  Allow yourself to feel however it is that you are feeling but don't dwell.  If you're angry be angry, if you're sad be sad, and if you're utterly devastated then you have every right to be.  Just go ahead and feel it then when the time is right (and trust me it's different for everyone) allow yourself time to heal.  Wounds heal slowly especially emotional wounds.  Take your time there's no rush.  People should understand and if they don't then you should evaluate your relationship with those people.  If you don't allow yourself to heal you'll never be as close to the former you that you were before (I say as close, because every tragedy changes us no matter how small it's a change and sometimes you just can't go back).  It's like breaking a bone, if that bone doesn't heal properly then you'll have some serious complications later.  So take your time....


I know that I haven't posted anything pertaining to 'My Active Prepared Life' but this week has been a very tough one for thus far.  I promise I will get back to those posts as soon as possible.

Thank you for reading.

The Active Prepared Life #1: Goals This Week

Let me start out by saying that by posting these goals I am letting everyone who reads this into my life.  I like my privacy and doing this actually makes me very uncomfortable but it is what's best because by announcing my goals to my readers I am establishing some accountability as many of you pointed out in my initial post that summarized the plan (The Active Prepared Life). Thank you for reading and coming on this journey with me. 

Categories:
Life/General
Love
Health/Fitness
Career
Financial

These are the areas in my life that I feel need the most improvement.  Each week I will set goals in these categories aimed at cultivating a more healthy and happy lifestyle for myself.  Goals and categories may be removed and also revisited.  The goal is continual improvement and the integration of this system into my lifestyle.  So here goes...

Life/General
1.  Meditate/Pray for 15mins daily
2.  Actively think positive thoughts

Love
1.  Call my boyfriend at least once a day
2.  Express concerns about relationship

Health/Fitness
1.  Work out at least 5 times a week
2.  Only drink water (green tea & protein shake are allowed)

Career
1.  Assist wherever needed
2.  Complete tasks as they come to you

Finance
1.  Do not lend money
2.  Only purchase necessities

I chose two goals per category this week because I did not want this process to be a burden.  I think two goals should suffice until I get into this.  Once again thank you for reading.

This Week In Retrospect: Pulling it All Together

So this week (like every other week) had it's ups and downs.  Some things didn't go as planned while others went so smoothly you would have thought it took months to plan.  However, this week did let me see just how focused I am in accomplishing the goals that I have set for myself.

Here are a few goals (some short-term) that I have set for myself that I hope to will accomplish

• Move into my own place (by myself)
• Blog on a regular basis
• Amass a substantial emergency savings
• Earn my certification in Spanish
• Exercise on a regular basis
• Pay off debt...ALL OF IT!

It may not seem like a lot but these are just the big ones.  There are plenty of other things to accomplish as well.  This week my main focus has been organizing everything so that accomplishing these goals happens with as little stress as possible.  Well we all know that nothing comes without obstacles but the point is to not become overwhelmed with what I do have planned and the obstacles when they come my way.  There is a lot of tedious work in becoming successful and living a fulfilling life.  This weekend I urge everyone to look at their goals, focus on the steps it takes to accomplish them, and go after them  with everything in your arsenal. 

Book Review: The Total Money Makeover

Disclaimer:  All books and/or items that I review were bought with my own money unless stated otherwise.  I am not being paid to endorse any product or service that I review.  These reviews are based off of my experience and my experience only unless otherwise stated.  So now that I have that out of the way let's get into this book.

This guy is so cool.

(My Personal Background)
After months of worrying about my financial stability, I finally decided to take action and it all began with Google.  Yep, my long-time friend with whom I've discovered many unique and interesting tidbits while exploring the outer regions of boredom.  I typed in 'financial well-being' and of course good old Suze (Suze Orman for those who just came out from under their rocks) and this other fellow Dave Ramsey popped up.  Well I've heard of his radio show (never listened, yikes!) and he seemed to know enough so I sauntered over to his website daveramsey.com where I spent the rest of my day learning all sorts of useful information including the fact the he wrote a book...The Total Money Makeover.  Well it doesn't take much to convince me so I bought the book on Amazon (for download on Kindle).

(Actual Review & Gushing)
 Let me start out with THIS BOOK IS AWESOME!  Not only does it let you know how to gain your financial footing but it gives you a plan to do it.  There are steps, but not the normal crappy teeny baby steps that leave you feeling like you could have had a V8 instead...nope these steps (after completing of course) leave you feeling like you getting out of debt is simple and he explains that it is, but it is also uncomfortable.  You're going to have to give up old money habits and adopt new ones and by now we all know change is uncomfortable.  Nevertheless I love this book.  It includes success stories, helpful quotes, and financial advice that you can really use.  Dave Ramsey has been through what he's teaching and knows what he is talking about.  He didn't just learn a bunch of principles then spit them out at us expecting that we understand.  He went from bankruptcy to where he is now, he lived what he is teaching.  I would recommend this book to everyone.  It is awesome and I realize that I am a little late reading this book but it was worth it.  The information that he gives is absolutely still relevant and everyone should have a copy.  The Total Money Makeover is what you need if your financial situation is looking pretty bad (let's cut the crap you're in some deep mess) and you desire to reach financial security.  I plan to read his other books, listen to his radio show, and if my boss doesn't mind I'd like to spend 3-4 hours of my workday on his website (I'm joking). Thank you Mr. Ramsey.

Financial stability, not just the ability to buy nice things, is my ultimate goal and I feel as though this book is as good a place as any to start.  I will begin my makeover now and I hope that this book can inspire others like me to do the same.  Thanks for reading!

Positivity is the Key

There is no place for negativity in your life, thoughts, or spirit.  You have to willingly 'look on the bright side of everything'.  You owe this much to yourself.  Your well-being is important.  I know we like to help others but we are in no shape to help others when we aren't whole.  Positivity will get you through hard times.  You know what?  Don't even think (or if you can't help it, correct yourself) in negative terms.  Instead of 'I hope my car doesn't break down today' you should say 'I appreciate the fact that I am able to do what I need to do everyday'.   No worries, no problems.  Our mindset is often our biggest obstacle.  So why let something that you control be a detriment to you?  You don't have to... just change it.

Praying and wishing to be delivered out of a difficult situation is getting us nowhere.  You should instead be praying for the strength, wisdom, and courage to make it through that difficult situation.  Most times the only way to get over something is to go through it and that's where a lesson should be learned.  My mom used to always say the most important lessons are always the hardest to learn and often they culminate from the most difficult of situations.  So face it, life is not easy for anyone nor was it meant to be.

As I said before it will be uncomfortable and hard but with enough practice it will become something that you do without even thinking about it.  TRY IT!  What do you have to lose except for stress/mess?  Get it, got it, great.

Inhale positivity, exhale peace.

Healthy Social Circle

"A true friend sees the good in everything, and brings out the best in the worst of things"

Sasha Azevedo 

About two weeks ago I went to lunch with an acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a while until  she contacted me this past month to set up a lunch date.  I was a little suspicious initially because her reasoning behind the invite was to get clarification.  Basically, she wanted to know why we were no longer friends.  The situation/friendship itself was toxic to say the least so when it came to me cleansing myself and surroundings of negative entities (something I'll discuss later as it's vital to a balanced life)  all unhealthy relationships had to go also.

"Misery loves company."

John Ray

Your mental, physical, spiritual, and social health is of utmost importance.  Cleansing your social circle and cultivating a healthy circle of friends is necessary if you want to obtain a balanced life.  If your friends are negative and disrespectful then it's going to affect you either directly or indirectly.  Others who are looking at you will ultimately believe that you are also negative and disrespectful.  You have to separate yourself from those types of people.  If getting you involved with their most recent bout of drama is their primary goal in every conversation then you have to assess if they're friends that are worth keeping.  Your interactions with those around you (especially friends) should leave you with an uplifting feeling.  If a relationship does not give you the support that you need then you should consider distancing yourself from those people and those types of situations.  People who are miserable are comparable to crabs they will grab onto you and try to pull you down with them. 
  

"Inhale peace, exhale excellence"

Unknown

When we take in positive energy we do more good for ourselves and others.  This is what I had to explain to my friend at lunch.  Her issues and the way she handled them were what made me decide to distance myself and end communication with her.   We all have problems and issues that may arise but generally when they come about we look for ways to fix them.  However, some people only use those problems and issues to add to their already abundant cluster of mess.  Drama is entertaining to them.  They need that in order to feel as though they are living fulfilling lives.  It's awful and twisted because no matter what advice or how many solutions you give them they will only find something murkier and more damaging to submerge themselves in.  You would be wasting your energy, time, and intelligence on people who never had any intentions on getting better.  In essence, you would only be depleting yourself.  That is energy that could be put into accomplishing something that is actually attainable.  Don't kill yourself trying to help those who don't want to be helped.

  

Letting go is hard and it's uncomfortable.  No one wants to be told that they did not make the cut.  I know some people who I distanced myself from that are now my enemies.  Though I think that if one of my friends told me that our relationship was unhealthy I would be upset at first but ultimately that threat of losing a friend would trigger some self evaluation.  The friends that I have are people that I truly care about so I will do some soul searching to see if what I do or how I behave as it pertains to our relationship is actually detrimental.  If it is then some change needs to happen and if not then we can both go our separate ways and just know that we were headed down two different avenues.  Friendships should never leave you feeling empty.    

Monday Inspiration #1

Here's a little inspiration for this morning.

Have a Happy Monday Everyone!

-Until Next Time

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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