Lesson Learned: Don't Lend Money to Friends

These do not exist.

Oh, young silly me!  How naive of me to believe that everyone that makes a promise is pressured by some noble obligation to keep that promise made. If only they were, then maybe I wouldn't be out of nearly $1000 all at once.  In case you're wondering, this rant is about lending money and why I believe it is a horrible thing to do.  Okay, let me rephrase myself...lending anyone money with the expectation of actually receiving any of that money back is a bad idea.  Much better.

Why lending money (with the expectation of repayment) is a bad idea?

1.  Well the indication that you want to be repaid makes me honestly believe that you may have needed that money.  So if you need that money why would you give it away?  You worked hard for that, use it for what you need.  

2.  It creates tension.  No one likes owing anyone.  I have never seen a situation where the situation hasn't been tense or caused some dispute.  Oh, and don't even think of involving a contract. It now makes the other person feel as though you think they're not trustworthy.  Contracts are for banks not friends.

3.  You're not helping them (more towards repeat borrowers).  Why do they need to borrow money?  Well, I'd like to think it's because they don't have any at the time (or ever).  Why don't they have money?  Maybe, their job doesn't pay well or maybe their lack of money is due to horrible financial planning, in either case the real problem isn't fixed simply because you alleviated their financial worries for the moment.

In any case lending money is just a bad practice, now this isn't to say that you can't give away money. You can do that but only if you have it to spare.  Anything (as far as money is concerned) outside of charity is a no-go.  True friends are hard to come by, don't let financial issues come between friendship.

Spring Haul

In anticipation of the warm weather headed this way I decided to do a little Spring shopping.  Check out what I bought…

(Left to Right, Top to Bottom:  Emerald Dress, JCPenney; Paisley Skirt, JCPenney; White Sheer Blouse, JCPenney; Gray/Tan Skirt, Dots; Coral Skirt, Charlotte Russe; Striped Dress, JCPenney; Cropped Denim Top, Charlotte Russe; Striped High/Low Shirt; JCPenney; Necklace, Juicy Couture; Sandals, Old Navy; Denim Vest, JCPenney)

I’m excited about all the things I bought and I’m so glad that the weather has finally warmed up here in South Carolina.  Now if I could just get control of these allergies.  

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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