This Week In Retrospect: Time to Relax

Sorry everyone I know I haven't posted in a couple of days but it's simply because I been super busy with work, preparing to move, going to school, and life in general.  I have recently started a new workout regime and it's definitely a killer.  It definitely takes time and dedication to live a healthy lifestyle.  No wonder everyone is so unhealthy.  In between work and the gym all I want to do is sleep.  I'll update everyone on that later.  I've definitely been way too stressed.  This week has been one to remember or maybe even one that I'd like to forget.


So what exactly have I learned and witnessed this week.

1. Living a healthy lifestyle is harder than it seems.  Willpower and support from others come in at an all-time low when you're trying to better yourself.  
2. Balancing life is also tricky but it is necessary.
3. Getting enough sleep is very important.  I was late to a few appointments because I got a little too friendly with the snooze button.
4. Never underestimate the power of effective time and financial management.

Okay so this week wasn't full of thought provoking revelations.  I was so busy.  I'm going to work on a schedule that will allow me to maximize my efficiency throughout the day.  Well, this weekend I had time to relax with family and friends. 

Until Next Time...

Communicating Effectively

Last night while reflecting on my day with a friend, I found a recurring situation quite displeasing.  It became apparent to me that the fine art of verbal communication in a public setting eludes quite a few people.  I'm no expert but I did major in both Business Administration and Communication Studies.  So while drinking my tea and discussing the issue with my friend I compiled a list of tips that everyone should keep in mind when socializing with those who are less familiar with your mannerisms.

Be Knowledgeable
I could not possibly stress how important it is to know what you are talking about.  Unfiltered ignorant commentary on any subject will get you nowhere in any social arena.  It may get you some attention, but not the sort of attention that anyone seeks.  Please educate yourself and if by some chance you find yourself involved in a conversation that focuses on matters that you have no knowledge about please be quiet and listen.  You could possibly learn something.

Be Confident
What you have to say is important.  So say it with the confidence that it deserves.  Oh and for the love of all that is glorious left in this world please leave the inconsistent language in your childhood.  Every other word/sound should not be a 'like' or 'um', it is decreasing your credibility.  Also, never ever after this point should you precede any statement with 'I may be wrong' or anything comparable.  You know what you're saying so say it without the disclaimer.  If you are wrong then God bless the soul that provides you with the knowledge that you are about to receive.

Be Concise & Clear
Your words deserve a clear and concise medium in which to reach the masses (or the 2 or 3 people listening).  Please pronounce and enunciate clearly.  For a few it's as simple as slowing down and focusing when you speak.  A personal tip:  Open your mouth more when you speak, literally.  It almost forces you to pronounce each syllable.  This is a little harder to perfect but practice get a lot closer to perfection than wishing does.

Be Courageous, Honest, and Tactful
You are brilliant and what you have to say deserves to be heard.  Just remember to say it in a tactful manner.  If you can't say it without obscenities or yelling then it should not be said until you can convey your thoughts without inspiring a physical or verbal altercation.

Your goal is to be honest and tactful in voicing your thoughts, because sometimes it takes courage to speak up.  So don't let what you have to say be upstaged by ignorance, obscenities, or inconsistencies.

Healthy Social Circle

"A true friend sees the good in everything, and brings out the best in the worst of things"

Sasha Azevedo 

About two weeks ago I went to lunch with an acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a while until  she contacted me this past month to set up a lunch date.  I was a little suspicious initially because her reasoning behind the invite was to get clarification.  Basically, she wanted to know why we were no longer friends.  The situation/friendship itself was toxic to say the least so when it came to me cleansing myself and surroundings of negative entities (something I'll discuss later as it's vital to a balanced life)  all unhealthy relationships had to go also.

"Misery loves company."

John Ray

Your mental, physical, spiritual, and social health is of utmost importance.  Cleansing your social circle and cultivating a healthy circle of friends is necessary if you want to obtain a balanced life.  If your friends are negative and disrespectful then it's going to affect you either directly or indirectly.  Others who are looking at you will ultimately believe that you are also negative and disrespectful.  You have to separate yourself from those types of people.  If getting you involved with their most recent bout of drama is their primary goal in every conversation then you have to assess if they're friends that are worth keeping.  Your interactions with those around you (especially friends) should leave you with an uplifting feeling.  If a relationship does not give you the support that you need then you should consider distancing yourself from those people and those types of situations.  People who are miserable are comparable to crabs they will grab onto you and try to pull you down with them. 
  

"Inhale peace, exhale excellence"

Unknown

When we take in positive energy we do more good for ourselves and others.  This is what I had to explain to my friend at lunch.  Her issues and the way she handled them were what made me decide to distance myself and end communication with her.   We all have problems and issues that may arise but generally when they come about we look for ways to fix them.  However, some people only use those problems and issues to add to their already abundant cluster of mess.  Drama is entertaining to them.  They need that in order to feel as though they are living fulfilling lives.  It's awful and twisted because no matter what advice or how many solutions you give them they will only find something murkier and more damaging to submerge themselves in.  You would be wasting your energy, time, and intelligence on people who never had any intentions on getting better.  In essence, you would only be depleting yourself.  That is energy that could be put into accomplishing something that is actually attainable.  Don't kill yourself trying to help those who don't want to be helped.

  

Letting go is hard and it's uncomfortable.  No one wants to be told that they did not make the cut.  I know some people who I distanced myself from that are now my enemies.  Though I think that if one of my friends told me that our relationship was unhealthy I would be upset at first but ultimately that threat of losing a friend would trigger some self evaluation.  The friends that I have are people that I truly care about so I will do some soul searching to see if what I do or how I behave as it pertains to our relationship is actually detrimental.  If it is then some change needs to happen and if not then we can both go our separate ways and just know that we were headed down two different avenues.  Friendships should never leave you feeling empty.    

Always Look Your Best

"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."

Marilyn Monroe

It's always an awkward situation when I'm questioned about my tendency to 'fix' myself up before leaving my house.  Leaving my home looking like I had no idea that I'd be going out in public today is simply not something that I'm willing to do.  You should feel comfortable when others see you.  We all know that it can nerve-racking when you see someone and your only thought is 'why couldn't I have worn something else/brushed my hair/or look like her'.   I understand that life is hectic and what you planned isn't always what occurs but even the slightest bit of tweaking makes a difference and can ease your nerves.  

"There are no ugly women, just lazy ones."

Helena Rubinstein

Why not work to put your best foot forward?  Looking your best or at least presentable takes a little work but it pays off.  You'll feel better about yourself and people will want to be around you because chances are if you feel good you'll be in a better mood.  You just have to take the time out of your schedule to do it.  It gets easier as you progress.

So where exactly should you begin?  Well, here are a few tips.

• Plan your outfits in advance.
• Groom yourself.  This means wash your face and comb your hair.
• Invest in basic makeup. You know powder, mascara, lipstick, maybe even eyeliner.
• Pay attention to details.  Clean your nails, moisturize your skin, and please wash/iron your clothes.
• Shop quality not quantity.  
• Keep it simple.  Chances are if you think it might be too much it probably is.  
• Be prepared.  Keep things like lotion, lip balm, mascara, & one go-to lip color on you or somewhere easily accessible.
• Know what looks good on you.  If you're not sure ask for an honest opinion. 

It doesn't have to be hard and it's not costly, trust me.  I clearly don't make as much as I'd like to make but I don't have to look it.  Take some pride in the way that you look.  You're gorgeous and absolutely fabulous, so display that.  

Monday Inspiration #1

Here's a little inspiration for this morning.

Have a Happy Monday Everyone!

-Until Next Time

Balance, Happiness, and Confidence

'My life is a place of balance, happiness, and confidence.'

Life for most part is confusing and things happen that cause you to doubt yourself and those around you.  Some doubt is okay because it allows you to assess yourself, your situation, and the people you associate with.  That assessment is often a catalyst for change that can push you towards becoming a better person.  However, constant doubt is in no way healthy or needed.  It contributes to disruptive and harmful behavior that may damage you and your relationships.  Our 'nonbelief' or constant doubt of our abilities will only cause us to fulfill what we believe thus furthering our disappointment and digging us deeper into self doubt.  

So how exactly do we combat those negative beliefs, those persistent nagging thoughts of self doubt?

I choose to employ positive affirmations.  I start my day out with positive affirmations whether they're simple or complex (for those days that seem unbearable).  There's truth to the statement 'it's never as bad as it seems'.  Situations seem terrible because of how we view them.  Change your view and you ultimately change the situation and how you feel about it.  Positive affirmations help you to develop a positive outlook for every situation.  So every morning I try to start my day with a positive affirmation.  I say it out loud because to me it's a little more real that way.  Sure it may be childish whimsy but once you say it out loud it's just that much closer to being tangible.  

In case you're having some trouble coming up with affirmations of your own I've listed a few of my favorites for you.

1. I have no reason to doubt myself or my abilities.  I am a child of God and doubt does not belong where He is.  Where I am, He is.
2. Everything I need is right where I am, I just have to recognize it.
3. I am more than capable of accomplishing what I set out to do today.
4. In love, I deserve the best and I will not settle for anything less. Nor will I give anyone anything less than what I feel I deserve.
5. I know that today will be a great day because if I think it I can feel it and if I feel it then it must be real.

Oh and my personal favorite:

I will put on my big girl panties (or big boy britches) and deal with whatever comes my way!

Our own doubt and disbelief in ourselves, our abilities, and relationships contribute to our failure.  Don't get in your own way.  Wake up every morning (every afternoon...whenever) and remind yourself of how great you are, how great you can be, and how your dreams can come true.  Hey, maybe our affirmation for today should be 'today is the day our dreams will come true.'




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